Hello, my friends. I’ve been thinking about the renewing power of your own past and applying that to renewal and recalibration when you feel powerless in this crazy world of ours.
My mind has been in overdrive lately. After a long spell away from my writing, I am not only back at it but reflecting on how this started and how all of this can make a difference in a world that appears on the best of days to have lost its way.
With the 10th anniversary release of my book, Just One Little Thing, and the new journal The Path, I had an opportunity to revisit those early days of despair and hope. And, as with so much in life, it became a much more involved process than I thought it would be. Life’s funny like that, right?
In fact, it’s turned out to be a real pain in the ass. Every turn, every revision, every review….it felt like I was receiving the same universal message. Look back before you look forward because you must remember all those hard-earned lessons.
This can be hard for someone who is a list-oriented prioritized-planning girl.
But what I am realizing now, with the release of the book and the new journal, is the delays and the details came to me at precisely the right time.
I didn’t know it when I started, but I needed to revisit some things in that book.
I needed to renew and recalibrate my reasoning for this work and the origins of my message of resilience through gratitude.
I know I am not alone in my need for recalibration. I think we’re all feeling a little bewildered, afraid, anxious and even angry about how people are treating each other these days. Have you felt it?
I certainly have.
And it’s hard not to get caught up in it. It’s hard not to feel drained; it’s tough to live in a place of gratitude when your very soul feels assaulted by the very world you live in.
We all feel fed up with humanity from time to time, and it’s completely normal. Whether it’s from learning about what’s going on around the world or what’s going on next door. There are always situations that leave us feeling as if people are simply not capable of behaving in a way that is coming from a place of awareness and kindness.
It is natural to feel let down and disappointed when we see our fellow humans behaving in ways that are greedy, selfish, violent, or uncaring,
And here we sit, wondering if this daily practice of gratitude, of kindness…..is making a difference. What’s the point?
I will tell you I’ve thought it….what the …. am I doing this for?
And then I reread my book. And I ugly cried, and I relived some things all over again. I fell apart.
But I was okay. I was more than okay. Rereading the book reminded me of the God-given wisdom I learned from the hard-earned lessons of loss. The lessons that should me the way through the darkness and could show me and others the way through now… ways to process that disappointment in humanity without sinking into despondency.
It’s all about the love.
Look for the blessings, even when you’re hurting. I am surrounding you with them.
There’s more magic in the world than people are willing to accept. Be a believer…in magic, miracles, butterflies, angels, and connections that extend beyond life and death.
One person’s words and one person’s kindness can make a difference. Love spreads like a virus….from one person to another when they are touched by unconditional love and acceptance.
Here’s a short excerpt from the book:
“My life has changed, but I have been given clarity from it. Clarity of purpose, clarity of what is truly important; I’ve found my vision is no longer clouded with the blur of money, position, status, or ego. Interestingly, before Stephen’s death, I was searching for purpose, feeling a little lost personally and professionally and not living up to my potential. Thank God I was searching, as it allowed me to recognize the insight I had been presented with in the heartbreaking loss of my boy. In many ways, I can see how all of this will be considered a great gift in my life. When people one day disassemble what I have created on this earthly world, I think they will see that this was a turning point for me. It was the moment that I let go of fear and moved forward, allowing myself to move over the “cusp” instead of being on the cusp as I had been for many years before. On the cusp of what? Enlightenment? Peace? Wisdom?
Perhaps it was the moment I finally decided to trust in something bigger, something mystical and unknown, to trust in myself and my strength and abilities. I’m not sure; maybe they will simply say, “She finally got it.”
That is not to say I don’t hurt. My heart physically aches for my child, for my remaining son and his pain; it aches for what my husband and I and our families have lost. It aches with each passing day for the reality of this situation. It is not going away.
But, for some unknown reason, I have decided to embrace it. I am embracing the ache and the pain, and I am seeing where it takes me and how it changes me. My past has allowed me to see that resisting a change will only worsen it.
And with change comes true vision, but you must be brave enough to look at it. The true and only way through is to embrace it, let it happen and learn. And, when you get to the other side of the grief, you pick yourself up, stick those lessons in your pocket, and become a better person because of it. I’ve promised myself, God and Stephen to live that purpose and be grateful for the lessons I have been given.
I write this book to honor who he was and to spark a conversation about how we live our lives daily, how we parent our children, and how we relate to one another. I want to start a conversation that will help someone who has to walk this path of loss in the hopes that my humble words will serve as a candle, a small but significant light in your own darkness.
I write this because I think the most significant learning opportunity we are presented with in life comes through death. It presents us with a flare in the night sky of our minds. It illuminates the truth about our individual lives and what is truly important. I felt compelled to write about it before that flare dimmed back in the recesses of my mind, and I lost sight of the simple truth.
That gratitude, even in grief, can uplift and transform your life; how can we transfer that thankfulness to improve all our days better. Gratitude is the one miracle we can bring about through our free will.”
Reconnecting with that emotional place reminded me of the power that I…and you have to endure and shine through dark times. We stayed plugged into what really matters. We recalibrate, check our internal compass, and stay the course that we know to be true.
As with any emotional response, we honor our feelings by feeling them entirely, but we understand that we don’t need to respond to everything.
Once we’ve done that–and we may need to do it every day, as part of our daily self-care–we can consider ways to help the situation in which humanity finds itself.
We start with ourselves, utilizing our awareness of the failings of ourselves and others to renew our own commitment to be more conscious human beings.
We are all capable of the best and worst that humanity has to offer, and remembering this keeps us in check and allows us to find compassion for others. We may feel compelled to serve people who are suffering injustices at the hands of others, or we may begin to speak out when we see something that we don’t think is right. Whatever the case, we can only pledge to serve the best, rather than the worst, of what humanity has to offer, both in the world and in ourselves.
So this week, I ask you to reconnect to a moment in your life when your life may have been stripped bare. You knew what was important….and from your history…just as I do….that you are strong, wise, and fully equipped to deal with whatever comes. In fact, you are, by design, put here to help others navigate that same path.
You have dominion over your thoughts and emotions. Exercise your choices. Choose to study your thoughts and follow them all the way back to their roots when you began making choices with which you are no longer in alignment. You are far more powerful than you think, for you need not think at all. The soul knows your true power. But do not push yourself. Simply allow your self-love to flow, and then you will grow.
Be the beacon of light this week. Love, without judgment or condition, be grateful and see what happens. Like a pebble dropped in the pond, your love can create a ripple that will travel farther than you could ever imagine.
Thank you Kelly for your return, I always enjoyed your daily Jolts, they are so uplifting. I am a person that chooses to be Happy, and to think positive. The world has so much racism and hate , that we have to stand up to it and bring it down, Love is Stronger than Hate. After losing my two son’s Dean, of cancer, passed in my arm’s .May 18- 1968- Dec. 1st. 2011 and Brad June 4-1970-April 24 1900, my life changed forever, half of my heart went with them.You know only to well Kelly . My heart and love goes to you and your’e family. My son’s wanted the best for me, and did not want me sad, I raised them on my own, they were my Best friends, they always said that I was their Best Friend First, than Mom. I so feel their Spirits around me , and live their wanting’s. Missing them dearly forever. and will cherish their Happy Loving and Fun, memories forever, till I meet them again.I was Blessed to have them, and their Love, for the Beautiful memories I hold dearly tucked at the bottom of my heart. I life my life fully each new day, and count my Blessings, and am so Thankful and Grateful, for all that I have been provided with, roof over my head, food on my table, warm bed to sleep in , and great friends, and the Love to share with the less fortunate .Kelly I Thank you for your Awesome two books that I bought JUST one little THING, and GRATITUDE IN GRIEF.Well written, and enjoyable to read. Kelly Wishing you and your’e Family, a Wonderful , Loving ,Peaceful , HAPPY 2023. HUGS TO ALL.
Marlene, Thank you so much for your heartfelt message, and for sharing about Dean and Brad. I truly believe that connecting and sharing is how we heal. I am s glad to walk with you. Mother to mother, Kelly xoxo
Wonderful post. So heartfelt. Thank you